Forgiveness...It's my worst flaw

To do what the bible says...Forgive those so you can be forgiven...Turn your cheek...Be the bigger person...Fight the Spiritual Warfare.
I was taught this my entire life by the same people and the same church since I was 10 yrs old.
Forgiveness...it's easy for me to say.  Hard for me to do.  What's really hard is forgiving people who are not sorry.  Who feel as tho they did nothing to hurt you.  These people are the ones that can hurt me the most.  I WANT to be angry and be mad at these people!!  I think about what was said and done and I start getting ticked off all over again...yet I am to forgive?!?   It's so hard.  When will I be ready?  When will the anger stop?  When will I be able to face them?
And yes...I know that I am only hurting myself by allowing these people to hinder my heart...flood my soul with bitterness and bring tears to my eyes.  Why is forgiveness so hard?  When I know I am supposed to do it?  I am supposed to seek God.  What if the place you were raised to seek God is the same place that the hurt came from?  To forgive people who are not sorry.  It may be one of the hardest things in this world to do.  I need to pray hard for this one...Dear God...It's me Donielle.

Crazy family ties

Family can either be the best people in your life or the worst people in your life.  It doesn't matter either way because at the end of the day...You are family.  Same cloth.  You have to put up with their problems and even the problems that they cause you.  Today I spent the day with almost every family member in my immediate family and I must say...I love them.  There is a little crazy in every single one of us.  Some have tempers, mood swings, addictions, ego problems, securities and anything else that has affected us in life.  I love that we all tell stories and talk loud.  We laugh about how crazy we are and realize it's just who we are!  You are who you are.  Blood is life.  Yes you do not have to share the same blood to be family...but I am talking about those that have the same blood line.  Those traits that pull you together.  It's binding.  It's forever.  It's family.  No one gets you like family.  No one forgives you like family.  No one has your back like family & no one loves you like family.  Cherish it.  Happy Thanksgiving!

"Hello Donielle Holland....It's been a while ;-) "

Donielle Holland...Been her my entire life.  Got married....name never changed.  But, I can lose myself sometimes w/ how crazy & hectic my schedule is:/  If you are a woman like I am....Your day never stops.  They actually kinda start running together as just a week..not a day.  Sometimes I look forward to my weekend because maybe...just maybe...I can sleep in on a Saturday morning.  It is a rare event, but when it happens...I feel energized and ready for my next week of GO..GO..GO....  But, then sometimes you get that weekend that is full of birthday parties, church socials, sport events, and the typical grocery shopping and cleaning:/  So, that is when I just STOP!  Right there.....and I grab my iPhone (that I am totally addicted to) and find out what in the world my friends are doing.  And that's when I make plans to hang out with the coolest people that I know.  Not just the friends that you made as a adult...the friends that knew you as a child...as a teenager...the friends you grew up with!  The girls that held your hair back when you got drunk at a party and shouldn't have done that Keg Stand...The people that you were packed 10 to a car & chilled with on Brown Road...The ones that you slept in a crappy hotel with (RED CARPET INN) and never complained because you were having so much fun:)  The friends you went to Spring Break with and never told anyone what you did!!!  lol....You can never have friends like that again....It doesn't matter to them how much money I make, what car I drive, how big my house is, what job I have, what I look like 20 years later...These people knew who I was before my life got so chaotic that I sometimes even forget if I even ate today or not?  When I hang with these people...I remember who I am...I remember who Donielle Holland really is....Not the Mommy...Not the Wife...Not the Job...The Maid or the Chef....
    There is no better medicine for stress and anxiety then having a night out with the best friends you could ever ask for!  And I am talking about my girl & guy friends!!! :))  So when I forget to even breathe on a Tuesday...One evening with my past reminds me of myself, and I say.."Hello Donielle Holland...it's been a while."  ;-)

Mother's Day :))

Mother's Day!!  I was so blessed:)  I was completely spoiled by my husband & children.  It says a lot when your husband truly thinks that you are a great Mother.  When both parents agree on how to raise your children it makes parenting so much easier.  One mistake that I see parents make is that there are no "grey" areas when it comes to right & wrong!  Its very simple....Right is Right & Wrong is Wrong!!  Some parents tend to want to be their child's friend instead of teaching them the values that they need to become a moral responsible person.  I am far from perfect...I have my own share of sins just like everyone else....So I do not think that I am above anyone or think too highly of myself...BUT...Children have friends...only one (maybe 2) sets of parents....Stear your children in the right path so that every generation becomes greater than the one before.  Raise your children in church so that they will have a moral compass that will lead them to know the words of the Holy Bible.  Some may stray, but with the teachings of the word, they will find their way home.  Mother's love your Sons...You should be the woman in their life until they take a wife.  Father's show your son how to treat a woman.  Be nice, gentle, never hit, be strong and giving yet firm.  Father's love your daughters so they will not seek attention from boys in ways that are unholy.  Mother's love your daughters and show them how to be a respectful moral beautiful woman.  To treasure her body as her temple.  These things are so important.  I never want my children to grow up and say "I wish my Mom had done.......or I wish my Mom hadn't......."  I want my children to grow up and be the best that can be and follow their dreams but educated to know what a dream is and what reality is.  I was blessed by God with two perfectly healthy children and I promise them on everything that I have....I will not fail you.  I will do everything in my power to make sure you succeed!  Thank you again to my wonderful husband and children who made my Mother's Day the best one I have ever had:))  God sprinkled love all over my house this weekend.  I am so grateful!

Geezz...It must be a Tuesday!!

Let's start with my typical day which starts around 5:00am  (if I really put some effort into my looks for the day then 4:30am...lol).  I get dressed then have to wake my two kids up & get them dressed.  I leave my house about 6:10am to be at work for 7:00am.  So here goes the drive to Seigan Lane from Walker.  Sometimes slow traffic due to all the dang construction that never seems to be going away:(  And why people must drive retarded through there is beyond me!  Anyways, on Tuesdays & Thursdays my daughter has gymnastics from 5:30pm - 8:00pm on Segain Lane.  I get off work at 4:00pm and drive ALL THE WAY HOME only to get there, and she is waiting for me in her cute lil leotard and we drive straight back to Seigan!  I get home around 8:45pm...So let's do the math people...6:10am - 8:45pm = 14 hours and 35 mins...That is how long my day is...Which is not including my Mommy & Wife duties!!  Ummm.......dinner, baths, some housework, making sure all homework is done & my kids have studied for their tests & I spend what personal time I have with my hubby who is just as busy as I am.  Sometimes I feel like I am spending my life in my van or gymnastics.  Because if I am not at work....I am usually at some sort of function that my 2 children belong too!  Not that I am complaining bc I put them in these events to make them better!  To give them options that I never had.  My goal & responsibility is to make sure that both of my children succeed in life and make something of themselves!  There is this huge world out there and I want my children to live in it...not be stuck in a small town like their parents.  But, when I lay my head down at night and everything that needed to be done that day is completed....Its the only time of the day when I can close my eyes, relax and feel my body sink into my bed:)  My feet are so tired and I look up at the ceiling and say "Wow...I am exhausted...Geezz...It must be a Tuesday!

Gossip

When someone tells you something about someone else...and the person it's about isn't there...and you believe what you just heard....YOU ARE BELIEVING GOSSIP!  I understand that some things that people say are true...But, let's face it....How often is what is said 100% accurate??  Words get miscontrued and taken out of context all the time.  Sometimes people mean to twist your words so that you will come out of the conversation looking badly...Other times its just what happens after it gets passed to person to person.  I personally hate gossip!  I do not like to hear it or spread it. 
Right now in my life....someone very dear to me is believing the gossip that they heard over what I am telling them and what I am telling them is the God's Honest Truth!  It hurts my feeling and makes me very angry that this person could turn their back on me so quickly!  Makes me wonder if this person was ever really there for me to begin with:( 
So, what do I do?  I guess I just try to make the best of the situation because I know the truth and it will come out soon enough.  I just really hope that I can control my temper in the meantime!  I do not like being talked about or being called names.  But, seriously God...this is one of those times when I need your divine intervention and help me through this situation.  It has burdened my heart:/  Dear God...It's me, Donielle.....

Really???

Okay, here I am.  I've thought about doing a blog for a while now, so since I always have something to say...I figured "Why the heck not"?...For people who know me...some may say I am mean..some may say I am sweet (well, maybe sweet isn't the word..lol)..I just think that I do not put up with people's crap so I may come off harsh.  But, I am who I am...And after I hit 30 years old, I decided to stop allowing people to try and change me!!  Because I actually like who I am!  And if you don't...then so be it:(  

3/3/11 ~
To the woman with the zebra print pants (YES, THAT's RIGHT..I SAID ZEBRA PRINT PANTS!!)...I was not cutting in line in front of you at Target!!  I was simply getting my favorite pack of "Cherry Passion" tic tacs!  There was absolutely NO need in causing a scene the way that you did!  If you had just waited like 5 more seconds you would have realized that I was in the other lane (EXPRESS! 2 items) because I would of walked right back to it.  BUT NO!  You had to scream at me "THOSE LITTLE WHITE GIRLS JUST THINK THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT!..YOUR NOT CUTTING IN FRONT OF ME LITTLE GIRL"  My reply was "Excuse me?  Are you talking to me?  Because I am just getting some tic tacs!"  She stopped and looked at me crazy...then I stared at her pants!!  I then realized that her thigh was bigger than by entire body!  It was one of those times when you have to decide which way your gonna take this situation!  Is is going to be the "High Road" or "Low Road".....??  After saying my little prayer to myself "Dear God...It's me, Donielle...Please let me not snap this woman's head off even though she could prolly eat me for dinner...Please keep my mouth shut!"  I took "High Road" after forcing the word vomit to come out..."Sorry Mam...just getting my tic tacs..I'm not cutting in line...My bad:/"...Ugh...Some women are just plain rude!!  And the pants..OMG!  Really???